I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
