i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
