the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
