Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Houston, we have a blender
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
