She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
