How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You were trust falling into bushes
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
