the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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