oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
