Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
