What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
