u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
