I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
