Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
