I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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