And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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