I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
