her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize