i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
