school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
