I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
