I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
