you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
