So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
