He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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