I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
