I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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