I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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