Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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