Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
