its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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