When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
