all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
