I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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