I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
