Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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