wat bout pragnant strippers??
and you said cock pushups were impossible
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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