I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
