make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
third nipple confirmed
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Pooping to opera.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
