nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
