I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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