WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
