So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
