bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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