Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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