Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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