OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
