Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
