one might say we're banned from that church
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
