you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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