this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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