Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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