So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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