Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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