Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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